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[22 Aug 2004|01:52am] |
Something has hit me..strangely hard. A sudden desire to update my livejournal. At the wee hour of 2 in the morning.
I recently found the link to my old diary-x (www.ghettopumpkin.diary-x.com), miraculously actually. I had forgotten my username and it took some deep memory-probing to remember it. It was interesting to read back on old entries, to see evidence of how much I've changed in not even two years...then again, two years in adolescence must be equivalent to 10 later in life.
Anyways, reading these small glimpses into my 8th-grade life kind of made me regret not having kept up with diary-x, livejournal, or any kind of place to store my thoughts for that matter. There are so many things I'd forgotten...will forget...am forgetting even as this is written. Where have these 15 years gone? It doesn't seem that long ago that I was in Italy, or in a cafeteria in Graham eating lunch...or even in the school garden in 5th grade shoveling tanbark. If I looked at my life now from the perspective of one of those times, I'd probably be a bit disappointed in myself. There are lots of dreams I once had that were, once again, forgotten...either that or diminished in the realization of the cruelty that is reality. I wonder if this was inevitable, or just if it happens to everyone...and yet...I can't help but wonder if any of my friends even think about these depressing matters. You guys still have your dreams, don't you? I still have my dreams, but they're just that...dreams. They'll only be true in my sleep, and I honestly dwelll more on my past than my future.
Maybe these are just empty rambles of a sleep-deprived teenager
But it feels like they've been sitting in the crevices of my brain for a long time.
It'd be cool to start updating livejournal again..so at least I can remember the movies, the boys, the math tests, the songs
so they can remind me of my loves, my hates, my wishes, my fears
decades from now.
With my memory, I need all the help I can get...
Sorry for wasting room.
Don't think about this more than you feel you should.
Love, as usual, Sharmeen
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| oops |
[24 Feb 2004|03:54pm] |
oh yeah that last entry of mine was one of my vignettes.
tell me what you think of it cause i'm COMPLETELY PARANOID OF IT COMPLETELY SUCKING?!?!? as i should be.
thankS
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| hmm |
[24 Feb 2004|03:52pm] |
I am going to tell you about a girl I once knew back in 5th grade. Everyone thought she was a complete nerd and avoided her for the most part. Every day, she arrived at least fifteen minutes late to class, carting her red rolley-backpack with a collection of jingly key chains attached (which sounded far and wide across the campus.) She wore an oversized maroon-colored pea coat whose pockets were often stuffed with orange peels and colored pencil shavings, and because she was often sick and devoid of tissue, the sleeves lined with snot (much to the disgust of her few friends, who weren’t very normal either.) Under the coat, she would wear dresses her mother made her, with prints of dolls and fish and rainforests. Not to mention her red boots and headbands.
It was an accepted truth that she was some kind of genius. She had very strong opinions about things for a 5th grader (intimidating at times), and lived in her own little world. She had an obsession for hedgehogs, penguins, bees, ladybugs, key chains, rocks, dolls, coins, pens, and classical music, but mainly, the welfare of animals and insects. Every time she saw a dead spider on the playground, she gave it a formal funeral while weeping quietly. She befriended bees when her human friends ran away screaming, and even named one Seymour. Many taunted her about these things, but she thought nothing of it. She had the world to inspire. Animals to save. Books to read and bees to breed. She swore she would never change. Never succumb to popular trend and never listen to pop music.
Summer came and passed. Middle school beckoned us, and I lost contact with this girl. On the first day of 6th grade, she came in jeans and a brand-name jacket where a pea-coat should’ve been. Her rolley-backpack was abandoned.
Her name was Sharmeen, and she’s been trying to resurrect her character ever since.
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chocolaterain's journal
